LEICESTERS CRICKETERS TRIUMPH AT LOUGHBOROUGH!!!!

The University of Leicesters Indoor Cricket team pulled off an amazing smash and grab win in the BUSA Regional tournament at Loughborough. Under the guidance of joint coaches Matt Burleigh and Merv Roy, Leicester have now made it to LORDS to play in the national finals. This is the first time in 8 years that the team have achieved this, and are relishing the chance to go all the way.

A very arrogant Derby outfit were easily swept aside in Leicesters opening match. Derby were shot out for just 60, with "Ceefax" Clark taking 3 wickets, and Leicester putting in a faultless fielding performance. In reply, despite the hapless Simon Jenner receiving vicious abuse from the galleries, for his "Del-Monte-style" black trainers, he made an unbeaten 25. He was well supported by Rob "The Boxer" Wood (P1 L1 1k/o), with 20; Leicester winning inside 7 overs at 61-1.

In the second game, Leicester contrived to lose against Nottingham, who had lost their opening match to Derby. Batting first, Leicester were hampered by some Ëœmaverick" umpiring decisions, which accounted for Jenner for a duck, and "International Schoolboy" Geoff Price, who was still reeling from having his backside fondled by Umpire Hopley. Clark rescued the situation with 40, and debutant keeper Matt Stait continued his impressive start with an unbeaten 21. In reply, Nottinghams last man very luckily won the game, despite a vibrant appeal for lbw being turned down from the bowling of Chris "Thorpedo" Cain. The batsmen rode his luck, and Nottingham squeezed home in the very last over.

Then ensued a bowl-out between the three sides, which saw skipper Price lead from the front, as the only player to hit in the 1st round for Leicester, which saw Derby eliminated. In the sudden-death shoot-out that followed, it was "Golden-Arm" Clark who sealed Leicesters path to the final. The other highlight was the inclusion of super-sub Pop Monkey, who emerged from the balcony to participate in the bowl-out, alas to no avail.

The final saw Leicester face Sheffield Hallam Polyversity, who were unbeaten after thrashing Sheffield and the United Arab Emirates (sorry, thats the University of East Anglia ed.). Hallam won the toss and elected to bat. They reached a daunting 147 in their 12 overs, despite some fiery bowling from "Redneck" Cain and "Slugger" Wood. Leicesters reply began positively, with Jenner dancing down the track. Like Fred Astaire, to punish Hallams over-rated left arm paceman. However, following Jenners dismissal, Rob Wood proved his batting is no better than his fighting, as he went for 0, leaving his team in a precarious position. Price soon reached 25, which saw Clark and Cain take up the charge. When these two reached 25, Leicester were in sight of victory. However, upon his return, Price fell quickly, and Clark played a woeful shot, leaving Leicester requiring 16 to win from the final over, with Cain and the irritating "Brummie" Matt Stait at the wicket.

Leicester threw caution to the wind, and played some kamikaze cricket, which left 9 needed from 3 balls. The large contingent of Hallam fans were panicking, as their heroes arses caved in (Roy quote). It all came down to the final delivery, with 3 still needed. Cain smashed the ball to the back wall for 4, and victory was Leicesters prompting unbelievable scenes of jubilation. Leicester were still celebrating when Umpire Hopley came to offer his congratulations to the players, in particular Price, who he was rather impressed with. Leicester now travel to Lords, the home of cricket (after Stoughton Road) to contest the national finals on St Patricks Day next year.

The squad at Loughborough was: Geoff Price (Capt.), Matt Stait (w/k), Simon Jenner, James Clark, Rob Wood, Chris Cain and Pop Monkey.



This report has been compiled by a number of people, too many to mention individually.(But it was the Great Headlines himself who appointed it to his website!)